“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1)
2 Timothy 2:24, “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.”
“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing” (1 Peter 3:9).
I don’t know about you, but these verses aren’t always easy to put into practice. I have the best intentions each morning, freshly inspired to follow Jesus that day. But, then I go downstairs and encounter other humans. During benign before work/school conversations, something is said that is incorrect, annoying, insensitive (or insert any other negative adjective). My earlier resolve to be more Christ-like is gone, and in its place is a very strong desire to argue or correct.
Later, I ask myself, why don’t I choose peace over proving I am right? Chose quiet over pointing out my hurt feelings? Chose agreement instead of explaining why my way is better?
How do I release the urgency of correcting people’s wrongful thinking?
This desire to be right all the time? Some probably stems from my childhood when I felt the need to prove I was right or smart in order to be seen, heard, or valued.
Other times, maybe I just want to explain a situation in which my feelings were hurt by a flippant comment. I want to reduce my negative feelings, and for the other person to see their error.
But, if I want to be part of the solution instead of escalating the problem, I need to slow or stop the immediacy of my emotional reaction.
If I know the truth, and the outcome of the situation doesn’t really matter, shouldn’t I just let it go? What difference does it make if someone else thinks they are right?
If there is no significant consequence of the erroneous thinking, how do I sit with the annoyance, shame, or hurt feelings long enough to let Jesus work in me and in the other person?
What if I focused on God being my defender rather than myself and trusted that there are some battles that don’t need to be fought.
I would no longer have to prove myself right to other people. Peace could exist. Even if someone else’s emotions become negative, I could choose to stay neutral. I could see the motivation of the other person, and rather than reacting based on my own emotion, I could let it go.
My relationships would change. My heart would change.
Lord, teach me when to speak up and when to be quiet. Let me trust You to defend me. Give me the wisdom to know when the outcome doesn’t really matter. Help me chose to have a right relationship over being right.