After my divorce and subsequent time growing/healing in counseling, attending small group Bible studies, spending time with friends, and having time alone, I felt ready to date again. I had a solid understanding of who I was and what I wanted in a partner, so I summoned some courage and created an online dating profile. The pool of viable candidates wasn’t large, more like a very small wading pool, but the process taught me how to communicate clearly who I was and what I was looking for. I learned how to discern quickly that a relationship wouldn’t work – through emails or phone conversations. I learned how to be politely honest when I delivered the news that I didn’t think we were a good match.
I held strong convictions, that if I was going to date someone, I needed to KNOW it was right. I remember telling my friends, at the time, that THE guy needed to show up on my front porch with a sign that read “God sent me”. After a few months of the online world, I began attending local Christian singles events, equipped with newfound confidence and a cautious optimism.
One particular event was a dinner held at a restaurant with outdoor seating. As I entered the patio, I noticed a man I had not seen at previous events. We were introduced and chatted a bit before being placed at different tables for the meal. While I spoke with almost everyone at the event, I tended to gravitate back to this man. We talked for several hours that evening, many times to the exclusion of anyone else (not even noticing they had left our table).
As the evening began to wind down, we found ourselves seated in a group of about six people. I glanced over to him, sitting directly to my left, and we exchanged a glance usually reserved for longtime couples, the whole-conversation-in-a-look type of glance. In that second, I wondered why his arm wasn’t around my shoulders, and simultaneously, wondered why on earth would I be thinking that? We just met. We didn’t exchange phone numbers that night, but we did manage to connect shortly afterwards via Facebook (gotta love social media). Many dates and long phone calls ensued over the next 8 months, but the knowing I experienced the first night never went away.
During this time, we were both completely surrendered to whatever God’s plan was for our lives. We were prayerful about every aspect of our relationship. I had never felt so loved and cherished by another human. My heart that had been so damaged during my first marriage was beginning to love again. I learned what it was to trust a man with my heart and know that he wasn’t going to cause me harm on purpose. When I stood at the altar, pledging to be his wife, I had no doubts that this was the man God sent for me (even though he didn’t come with the sign declaring such).
We often talk about whether we were supposed to meet earlier in life, did we somehow miss God’s prompting sooner? I don’t pretend to understand God’s plans, but I do know that waiting on His timing is always right. We are close to celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary and while I can’t claim it has been perfect, I am so grateful I was listening to God’s voice, instead of my own, twelve years ago, because God’s plans will always be more than just “good enough”.